Gender doesn't = how you present + mini rant

Ever Since i discovered that i'm a trans guy (about 4 years ago now) I've been subconsciously forcing myself to dress and present masculinely. But even after i went through the whole ordeal of doing that i still felt uncomfortable in my skin. I felt like if i presented androgynous or femininely that i was for some reason faking being trans which just wasn't true. I also have interests that are typically seen as "girly" such as sanrio, makeup, collecting stuffed animals and cutesy video games which never helped this issue. I hated myself for liking things like that so much that i treated it like a super bad secret which was so stupid of me looking back on it now. But for the last 2-3 months I've just said fuck it and bought a bunch of "feminine" clothing and started doing makeup again. I am SO much more confident. But i am STILL A DUDE and i occasionally dress more masculine if I'm feeling like i want to That day. The fact that i am a guy will never change.

You do not have to present in the way society has told you that you need to present for your gender. You are allowed to dress however you want and still be whatever gender you are.

That moves me onto the next problem after doing this. I've found that I've been treated a lot differently online after doing so. Being called a "femboy" or "twink" and/or people sexualizing me because of it. which i feel is quite derogatory. People becoming friends with me or trying to flirt with me while completely ignoring the fact that i am a guy because it doesn't fit what they want me to be. Even after i remind them time and time again they still "forget" which just proves that they do not view me as a guy. Its honestly uncomfortable. I've had some disturbing stuff said to me over just these last couple of months. I just feel like sexualizing feminine men is wayyyy to normalized. Partly because of the media normalizing over sexualizing "femboys". 

People forget that i am a human to. I have interests, friends, dislikes and hobbies, i have a past and a future just like everyone else. Me and anyone else for this matter should never be seen as just a part of a chronically online persons fantasy.