Yay for Neurodivergent Friendships!

I feel sooo relieved!

I have ADHD and ASD and I'm really inconsistent when it comes to communicating with my loved ones.

My biggest problem is getting stuck in a cycle of fear of rejection (RSD.) I take 2 days to answer, then I feel like explaining myself. So I start practicing and repeating what I might say in my head. But then I remember that some people don't like it when you overexplain yourself. And whatever I say, I don't want to sound like I'm trying to be manipulative. But I feel like "I'm sorry" doesn't cut it because it doesn't show that I really am sorry.

Oh it's a mess. Hahaha

I guess this is all just part of the experience of laving lived life with people-pleasing mechanisms, but also learning that it's healthiest when you are honest with yourself about your desires and limitations. It's hard to strike that balance, you know?

Anyway, I messaged a longish apology to my friend that I hadn't talked to for months.

We've bonded deeply in the latter half of the time we've known each other. We like to talk about our autistic life experience and how we think and feel. Plus her special interest: KH. Oh and also we both love AURORA.

Anyway, sometime last month she had sent me a post with a cute Tangled mug because she knows Rapunzel is one of my special interests. It meant a lot to me that she thought about me, even when I had been so absent.

Today I thanked her and apologized. And she was beyond understanding. Super kind and gentle. :) The weight is lifted off PLUS I feel closer to her because of her patience, and her efforts to understand me! :')