💐🌸🌷23.07.2024💿🐁⭐️

Hiiii :3!!

This blog post in gonna be PRETTY serious and somewhat of a ventpost, even if i dont rlly act like it lol. 

TW: SUICIDE ATTEMPTS

Ugh this’s gonna sound so, like “look what i just did heh..” CODED but i like throwing my thoughts into the abyss known as SpaceHey cus i wanna share this with somebody but not my friends. 

So last night i was so agitated to the point of attempting. Like i wrote a whole letter and even told my older sister that i was gonna miss her, i feel really bad for worrying her. I did apologize and i know how probably traumatizing this could be for her

ANYWAYS, long story short my therapist asked if i wanna go to a, like, hospital center (thats how she described it lol) we came to the conclusion that i should rather be on stronger anti depressants BUT if nothing changes, then I’ll go to the mental hospital for 3 weeks if it doesn’t get any better.

I genuinely think i should go to the hospital lol. The chances of me relapsing into my shit is so high and I KNOW that, with the amount of isolation i do, it makes the chances higher. Being in a different environment that ISNT my bedroom, where i can be alone with my thoughts, will help cus I’ve genuinely been feeling like a lost cause. Like there’s no point in recovering cus im just gonna die in the end.

I WANTED to tell my therapist that i thought it was a good idea but my separation anxiety got the best of me LMFAO. I just don’t like the idea of having to be away from ppl and changing my routine and just EVERYTHING having to change. Even the people i talk to. I wont get to play Roblox D: !!!

But in the end, im glad im taking the necessary steps to just NOT wanna kms lol. 

I think im starting to try and open up to people. Like my mom, it was EXTREMELY hard but i opened up about this for the first time. I know she doesn’t understand it but im glad i opened up and now im starting to open up to ppl around me C:

Anyways-  THNX 4 READING <33

If i do end up going, I’ll be sure to let u guys know, for some reason :3

Love ya, bye ^u^!!!