2/13/2021

We meet again.  I thought my HTML coding skills would be rusty but it came back quicker than I expected!  Took me right back to the hours and hours I spent digging through Myspace music searching for new cool bands while changing up my profile.  This time around, I want to use the blogging function more than I did before.  The goal is to write every day, but let's just call it as often as possible because life these days doesn't seem to stick to any schedule.  I swear sometimes I feel like I switch through multiple dimensions within hours or minutes.  It's like I blink and become aware that I have no clue what day or time it is.  I'm trying to be softer with myself, so this will manifest more as word vomit than structured thought process and proper grammar/punctuation.  Why be so concerned with all the details?  Who even cares anymore?  I don't remember the last time I left the house and I am happier than ever.  Who cares what I look like, or what day it is, or hell... what dimension it is.  I'm exploring my psyche and it has been fun getting lost in it.  I think, for me at least, that is a big focus of this lifetime.  There's so so so much to explore externally in this world that sometimes we forget to go in.  And although the external is fun to explore, it pains me to see humans neglect the internal - sometimes even for their entire lifetime.  How sad!  Going inward brings pain, yes that's true.  It's dark and scary and unknown but oh, the rewards.  I've spent years going inwards and periods in those same years neglecting it completely.  So funny and fickle are we.  At least I keep circling back to it.  This is my path. I shall be graceful with myself if ever so often I need to stray from it; for I know I am not perfect.  Some of my greatest lessons have been learned from straying.  Take a deep breath and find the path again.  It's always there.  Until next time.

XOXOX

Punkin