ranting :P [22/7/24]

i feel like i will always be waiting for something. and although i can improve in the sense of taking control and being an active participant in my own life, i still can't shut down the part of my brain that will still always be waiting.

there are people who you'll never catch up to no matter how much you wait. some people will always make you feel like you can't reach them, for whatever reason. there are also people who will somehow always align with you. 

i know who my people are, because they make me stop feeling like i'm dusting in some shelf without even having to try to say the right thing. i know who the wait is worth for, because with them i know it's not in vain. i know they'll come back for me, and they'll text me on their way, and when i wait for them i won't have to stare at some ceiling wondering if i'm wasting my time and get to just be excited to see them again. 

in the meantime, i can do my own thing. i owe it to myself to do so, god knows i've already wasted too much time pondering on the return of things that are far too out of my grasp by now. but there's a part of me that will always be waiting, and there are people who will make it feel like a useful function to have instead of a burden.