Maybe these will be monthly.

I'm tired. That raises red flags when I see someone else say it, and I won't try to bullshit and say I'm doing perfectly fine mentally. I am transgender and Jewish in the US. 

I need to go to a Thing to submit a passport application, I just ran out of my mood stabilisers so I have to find a new provider before my last refill runs out, my car's registration expires in 11 days, I need to update my address in like Four places, I need to get a Job so I can afford a cat, and I Need to work on repairing my relationship with my mother so I can crash at her place in Europe if (when) someone that wants me Dead wins the election. Moreso for my benefit. She's talked about flying me out to see her before but we had a Really rough few years that she recovered from much faster than I did. I'm telling myself the passport is more for a visit (or move in) with my girlfriend so I have something to look forward to, at least. It isn't working. 

Motivation is hard to come by when I freak out and convince myself she hates me or will get tired of me in a month or two. There's next to no chance of this happening for a variety of reasons but I'm (frustratingly) not the most logical of people. 

Getting really into Ravioli lately. I realised I can just put like a Pound of frozen ravioli in a pot with some sauce in another as an easy (but slow) meal. It's useful for Feeling like I'm gaining weight but I know it's just binging. Replacing one (three) eating disorders with another. Yay. It's a good safe food, though. I can pretty reliably eat that if my appetite is in shambles for whatever reason.

After roughly three months* of total isolation, I've started to resocialise with my father who has been doing Very bad (mostly due to my isolation hes really sad) lately. We started watching The Mole, a Mid reality game show that tries to be good, and it's pretty nice bonding material since I like to ramble about how I would win all of the challenges. We're going to watch The Blackened Mantle** too when I can get ahold of it, but since it's a fancut of a Disney Owned Movie, it's hard to come by. 

I have more to talk about but it's 1:20 am and I need to run errands tomorrow. Goodnight, all. Maybe someone wi

*Judging from my three month supply I filled soon after moving in running out.

**Fanmade cut of Star Wars episode 3 to include All of the prequels and generally mend the... "special" aspects of the original films. It also uses the Japanese dub to make it easier to rewrite the Suboptimal scripts. It's occasionally in black and white since it uses George Lucas's main inspiration of 1950's samurai films as its Own inspiration. Very interesting work and I need to Find it. If you have a link to stream or download it, please share.