permanent_association_#1436

i think it was late july of 2023 when i caem across panchiko, i rremembr seeing a vidoe documentary covering the rediscoveyr of tge band,, naturally i wnated to listen to their muusic so i just played the first song to show up, D>E>A>T>H>M>E>T>A>L

during that saem summer though i went through the worst mental angusih ive had ever,, i felt alone and truly just worthlesss, i seriously thought i was at a point of nno return and that everythgin was pointless, in my head i told myslef i woulf enevr be normal again, and tgat i was truly unloveable and would never expierience love,, </3  

i remembr mentioning panchiko to my friends and oen of my longest adn closest friend gettunig really excited because she loved panchiko too, tghis same friedn eould later becoem my goregeous beautiful gf,,, ^^ 

in tge beggining of this uear i made a promise to myself to get better mentalluy anf to start to recover from several tghings, i knew i wasted almost a year just being sad and i just wanted to atleast attempt to change for the better,, and i did!!! i started to care for myelf more and start to eat aswell!! it was NOT easy but i held on and managed !! :D

in tge may of tghis year panchiko started their north america toour,, we saw tgey were coming preety close to us and we tgen decided to go see tgem togtehr,, im oretty new to concerts still but i was excited to go with her to see a concert tgat i liked so much along eith other artsist i like!! :33

wgen the concert came we were excited adn the concert eas so niec,, duruing the concert tghough D>E>A>T>H>M>E>T>A>L played,, wgen the song plauyed i was close to her and i was holding their haand as they played, weauring a necklace she recently gave me,, i was tgen i was reminded of the state i was in wgen i first found the song,,, i thought i eould never be loved and happy, tgere was a massive difference from tgat time and the moment i was in and i realized how lucky i was,, how happy i was now,, how i held on and found myself here holding tge hand of someone who loves me unconditionally and how i was aactually present,, she made me forget almost everything that i went through during that depressing summer,, when i realized all this i wanted to cry,, i wasnt sad but rather just so glad that i was getting better and that everything felt perfect there,, i held her hand tighter remembering this and i was happier as they kept playing,, 

i have that song in several playlists nowe, and everytime i hear it im reminded of that very moment,, the moment where i realized how much better my life was in general,,, when im alone and when i miss her i listen to the song to remind myself of her and the moment,,,, usually now thouhg i catch myself crying thinking about how great she is and how much i really do love her,, she is truly amazuing and i will alwuays be reminded of her with that song,,

i lov her so mutch,,,, <333333