I have an unhealthy addiction to this game.

I don't play video games much anymore. As a younger child, I used to play them as much as I could, but eventually I fell out with the hobby. There would be a few that would keep me entertained over the two-year period since I was an avid gamer, but one of them has kept me hooked. And I fucking hate it.

I started playing Minesweeper back in December of 2022. I had fun with it as a casual player, but then I started playing competitively (which, apparently exists). I played continuously for almost 6 hours a day until about mid-2023, and I unfortunately picked it back up a few months ago. As of right now, I rank in the top 3500 players worldwide, and I'm in the top 100 players, so I've gotten decently good.

But I can't stop playing. I am literally itching to play this game sometimes, and it's making me less productive every single day. I want to be productive, I want to be a better person, but I foam at the mouth if I don't have my mines and sweep them. I'm trying to get a job solely so I can distract myself from this god-forsaken video game.

Minesweeper is a very logic-based game, and therefore it's largely based on skill to become a top player. Especially to become a fast player, you really need to know what you're doing. However, the site I play on isn't just a speedrunning site; there are many different categories that measure a player's skill. Some main ones are mastery, win streak, and efficiency, none of which I am good at unfortunately 🥲.

The one that I am good at is the Difficulty category. Difficulty measures how difficult a board is — self explanatory — and the more difficult the board you complete, the higher you rank. To place on the leaderboard, you need to complete one of at least 1,000 difficulty. The highest that the game awards you for is 100,000 difficulty.

My record is 313,481. This achievement took me months to do, and eventually caused my hiatus that lasted until a few months ago. Still, I'm quite far from the top (which the record is currently over 10 million), but I place comfortably in the top 100. And while I am trying to go higher, I am very happy with this board.

Trying to get this board, however, was a total shit-show for my mental health.

See, I said that skill was a large factor in being a good Minesweeper player. However, because of the inherent randomness of the game (placing the mines on the board), there is a lot of luck involved. There are board states that are not solvable by logic, and require the player to guess. And this is something that every player hates, not just me (take a look at the subreddit).

The board I played on was a 45 x 45 tile board with 545 mines. It was easy to remember. However, this meant that 26.91% of the board was contained with mines — over one quarter. And because luck-based scenarios are more likely when the board has more mines/mine density, this board was extremely lucky to beat. Precisely, a 0.043% chance of me beating it; not the absolute worst, I know, but my impatient ass thinks this is too damn long.

So, because I start by opening all corners on the board, it is likely that at least one of them will be a mine. Literally 90% of my high difficulty games end this way, and playing for hours straight like this feels like it's a Sisyphean effort. And even if I can open all the corners, it's not a guarantee that I will get a fully solvable opening. And even of I do get a fully solvable opening, who will know if I won't get another luck-based mine. 50/50s are the bane of my (and the entire communities) existence.

I'm not sure how I should continue. I don't want to quit the game, as I do enjoy becoming a better player, but I feel like this game will continue to destroy me if I end up at a plateau. I'm hoping that I get accepted for a job soon, so I'll have no choice but to be distanced from this game. It is dangerous.

Don't fall into the trap like me.