freight train comin' (moved from livejournal)

i'm lonely. it's not a new thing, but i don't think i really realized how real it was before. i've been watching my world slip through my fingers, and as i pick up after myself i realize that my arms are fuller than i was expecting them to be. 

you got a girlfriend. i'm happy for you, really. she's ukrainian, so she's got this cute little accent. she's beautiful, too — all shiny teeth and little nose and mousy brown hair.

i'm not nearly as pretty as i used to be. i've been cutting my own hair. i should dye it red.

i wish i were nicer to look at. not for you. i mean, it would've been for you, but you've got a girlfriend now, so. not for you. 

at least i don't need to worry anymore. you're still my friend, which is more than i can say for most people.

i didn't really want you, anyway. i'm just lonely.