Weirdest Question I'm gonna ask

Okay so i broke up with my bf of 6 1/2 months during like april bc he was talking to his ex behind my back while I was on our school weekend long field trip(He and his ex had opt out) so while i was on the trip and also id like to mention that i was texting him every night before bed to make sure he was okay and all and that i love but he responded only once.

Anyways the question is

How do I get over him bc he literally stole my virginity and yeah we're both kids (╥﹏╥)

so basically we had sex with consent after like 5 months which was really fucking stupid on my part bc he was literally a walking talking red flag and had sliced my finger with scissors in class and everyone was telling me to break up with him, but like I'm a dumb bitch and proceed to have sex with him even tho apparently he had raped his ex, omg looking at this know stupid doesn't even begin to describe me. I think the cherry on top is that Im asexual and that i wasn't gonna do that shit but he had kept pressuring me so i did in fear of losing him and then everytime i'd gp to his house he would try to make me have sex with him, which after saying no like 30 times and then him saying that I don't love him and not paying attention to me at all, id finally do it. He had even pulled my clothes off once as i was actively saying no and he also wouldn't let him off his bed and him to like i would be like kissing him, which is as much as i feel comfortable with doing and he put me on top of him bc idk bc he likes it ig and then i would try to get off if him and he wouldn't let me and he would start like grinding into me (btw we're completely clothed for this part) and i would tell me no like i don't want to rn or THAT WERE SUPPOSED TO BABYSITTING HIS LITTLE BROTHER OR SPENDING TIME WITH HIM BC ITS HIS 4TN B-DAY like wtfuckkkkkk. I told my friends this and they all said i was basically raped a shit ton of times during our relationship and how much they fucking hate him but bc I'm a dumb bitch i still talk to him bc we're "friends" and the worst part is that everytime we get on call I remember how much i loved and still love him and the good times of our relationship and all the reasons i do love him. Luckily I'm kinda ig getting over it, i don't talk to him as much and i have been talking to this guy and we've been going on a couple of dates and i think i might be growing to like him, but for some god damn reason I'm still stuck loving my fucking weird ass ex someone plz kill me now. 

Tbh I just had to let that off my chest bc bottling up my emotions is smth my therapist told me I should work on and posting a blog seems like a good start bc I'm scared to actually talk talk abt these things without it being like me js dropping random lore and never elaborating. Lets hope i become a heathy human being :)