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Im back and sm has happened, someone lied to my school and ppl around me abt a grooming situation. Im still having pics of me sent in a gc, still have some haters. Im not sure what ive done now, ive apologized so many times. I tried literally killing myself to hopefully make things better. I just want things better. Please. Ive done evrything in my power to not do wrong and somehow im still in the wrong. Im weird for being groomed into carving his name into me. (He had my personal info and blackmailed me) im weird for being short, im annoying bc i talk, im an asshole for telling the truth, im crazy for being me, im ugly bc of how i was born, im basically js shit on atp by the same ppl. I dont get it. Its been years now and they still have sm against me? And for what? I didnt date your ex.. i didnt add you to gc’s to lie and make fun of you, i didnt tell you to kys, i didnt send pics and videos of you in gc’s, i didnt yell and bark at you in the halls, i didnt laugh attiu when you were hugging ur bf and crying bc a whole group of ppl keep bullying you. I didnt walk past you and go “joeyyy” with my loud mouth. Did i? No. I stayed quiet. I kept to myself. I didnt bombard you with rude messages. I didnt tell your bf that you got groomed and that you cut yourself. I didnt make fun of you for the way you look. I didnt spread rumors. I didnt pretend to be friends with you soo i could make fun of you more. I didnt post you on a tt acc to show the school. I kept to myself. Why is it such a problem when i do smth. When smth happens to em it makes me weird. But if it happens to you its okay? I hope yk youre the root of the problem. You caused me getting worse. All i worry abt is how ppl think of me now. I cant eat regularly. I dont talk anymore bc of how annoying i am. I dont dress how i did bc how weird it is. I stopped being around my bf when hes with friends bc how weird it is. I stopped wearinf what i wanted bc of my scars show. I started overworking myself, i started caring more and more abt what ppl think. I never felt like this til after everything. I cant let go. I hope youll be happy with me when im skinnier, when i have more makeup onto cover the uglyness, when i stop dressing the way i like, when im quiet, when im covering up, when im not posting what i want, when im not telling the truth, when im not me. Sorry if this is cheesy but ivehad no way to resolvethis for years. I’ve apologized and changed so that im not the “life ruin”-ing kyleigh, so im not weird. But nothings worked. You still hate me. You still complain abt me. You still talk shit abt me. No matter how much i change myself itll never be enough. Greedy fucking assholes. Why are you still unhappy. I dont get it. Ive done so much. Would you finally be happy if i went through with it this time. If it actually fucking worked unlike last time. Yk why i did it last time, bc you were lying, you were adding me to gc’s just to lie and talk abt me, i saw those pictures in your camera roll. I knew what youd say when i wasnt around. No matter how many times i told you “no i didnt believe him” “no i didnt want to be with him” you still wouldnt listen. I tried last time bc ppl were talking abt how weird i was bc i was fucking GROOMED?? I tried last time bc you would still laugh at me. I tried last time bc ik for a fact youd all be happier with me out of your life. And i always wondered “yk would they all be like “finally shes gone” or would they finally realize what theyve done.” Ik youll never look at this. Youll never find it. If you do youll probably screenshot it, send it to the gc. And wait.. werent all the ppl inthere my friends?and none of them hated me til someone came along, told them things that were not true. Andif they were, i had already tried to fix it, tried to apologize but we cant have that can we? No kyleighs not allowed to be a good person, kyleighs not allowed to say what shed like to. But we can!! Bc we’re entitled!! My own mother wont let me talk abt you bc shes seen what youve done. She knows what youve said. Even after i explained evrything ive done wrong and how she cant hate you bc of your opinion, she still does. So do the people ive opened up to. Ask them, ik youu want to. I told them the same thing “but pls dont go against them or hate them js bc of what ive said. I dont knwo the whole story”. Anyways i hope you change. Ik when you see this youll screenshot it, send it to all the little gc’s and laugh and make fun of me, send it to me and tell me how corny and stupid i am. But itll be alright. Maybe i wont be around by then to witness it. Hopefully it happens after the day. I mean not to be corny, but ihave it all planned. Ik when im going to do it fr this time. Im being serious too. I really do know that i want this. I mean if i fail again then theres no point in trying. Point is, go ahead n laugh n do whatever you do when you talk abt me. Js have some comfort in knowing that ill be gone soon and this problem youve had for years will be gone lmao, btw. I dont hate you at all. None of you. No matter how many times ivesaid it, i never meant it. Ireally wish things could be better. I really wish i could fix it some other way but it seems nothing but killing myself will actually work so uh bye ig man 😭😭 i may be a fucking cornball but i mean atleast im trying to fix yet another problem ivecaused 💀💀 - july 16th 2024 💕💕