Life update / Breaking an unhealthy cycle

So!!! I may have gotten a BOYFRIEND!!!!! I've been really busy with lots of things. The full story is...

I had an unhealthy attachment to my ex bf from ~2 yrs ago. He was my fp, and I was constantly trying to get his attention. My worth was tied to him, and I had several poor mental health episodes when I felt like I was undesirable or thought he was upset at me. I struggled with jealousy, and also heavily objectified myself to try and get him to want me, resulting in me doing a few things I regret.

One day when we were talking, he made a comment along the lines of "real women are lame anyways." This is just one of the few strange things he talks about. I told him that was a crazy statement, and he went unresponsive for around a day, as per usual. This time, I decided that I wasn't going to beg for his attention. If he could wait over a day to respond to my message, then I would wait longer. I told myself I would never message him again. It was hard at first, and I almost responded when he did message me around a day or so later, but he was just sending me his memes instead of trying to have any sort of meaningful interaction (... as per usual), so I decided that it wasn't worth it. Eventually, I was so used to not messaging him that it felt wrong and awkward to open his DMs and attempt to do so.

My friends were sick of watching me torture myself over him. Sick of me coming to them crying about the newest thing with him that I was upset about. They didn't know what to do, how to get me to stop trying so hard to get him to care about me. It was obviously hurting me, but nothing anybody did would help me. I had to free myself from the cycle, and it was hard. A lot of the time, other people can't save you, no matter how badly you wish they could. You have to be the one to take a step in the right direction, and you have to use your own strength and will to pull yourself out of the mess you're in. I dated him over two years ago, and I just recently got over him completely. It's never too late! The only obstacle in your way is your own habits and unhealthy thinking, and you contain everything you need to defeat that. I promise it gets better. I have had so many moments where I couldn't even imagine living to see another day if he didn't want me, and now I'm finally free.

Soon after I finally got over him, I started talking to this other guy I had been friends with for about 2 years. We developed feelings for each other, and things started getting serious when he asked to take me home from work. I brought him a popcorn bucket from work, and he got me some chicken tenders. I was nervous in the car ride and didn't know what to do or say because it had been so long since I had even had the possibility of interacting with someone romantically. My crushes were all basically one-sided until now. A few days later, he asks me to get lunch with him, and at lunch, asks me out on a date. We agreed that this was the "official" start of our relationship.

He's everything I needed and more, honestly. He does things for me that nobody else could. He's always there to help me, he doesn't judge me, he wants the best for me, and I could just keep going on... but I feel like most people wouldn't want to read that. My poor mental health still interferes with the relationship sometimes, but he's always there to make sure things are okay. He's cute, sweet, and I hope I can make this first relationship of his the best and longest possible.

Side note... guess who suddenly started caring about me after i got over him and started dating my boyfriend? Totally not my ex-FP. Yeah. I promise they aren't as good as you think they are. When someone realizes they're your FP, subject of obsession, etc... They can very much attempt to take advantage of it. You deserve someone who's always there for you, when you need it, and when you're perfectly happy and just want a companion to share your joy with. You are incredibly valuable, and some people are assholes who won't realize that until you're out of reach. Find someone who can easily see what you're worth and treat you accordingly. It's easy to give up, and I had given up several times over, but things eventually turned out to be okay.

I believe in you! Take care of yourself, help yourself, love yourself, and save yourself!