what is wrong with me?

I keep having dreams about me being with people. Like in love with them. I know I haven't found my true love, or have I? I have a feeling that Nat is my true love but she doesn't feel that way. I have thought about going to the mental hospital because I have been cutting again. I have been thinking about just snapping. But my family thinks I've been doing good. My discord friends know I haven't been doing good. I love my discord friends. They make me feel so happy. They understand the way I feel but yet don't stop me from doing what I want. I am so out of it and feel so numb. I just wanna go back to sleep for the day and not wake up. I wanna sleep through everything and not have to deal with anything anymore. All the things around me seem to be stressing me out even though everything seems to be going good for me. I don't know what's wrong with me, it's driving me insane.