its hard to make friends

this is just a spill of thoughts i've had recently... it's honestly just a personal problem i have with myself but i hope others can relate...LOL
we am the kind of person to make friends based off interests, then go on from there. i cant communicate well with people if we don't have things in common. even then, its hard.
i have very niche interests and its always so hard to find people even on this platform that have the same interests as me. even then im scared to friend people because AHH!!! socially anxious! and with the people you are 'friends with'.

 you're not always going to be talking about your same interests, nor are people obligated to acknowledge you. its common sense but i feel excluded from everything. sitting in a call with a friend barely being able to talk because i dont know what to even talk about, or talking in a discord server and being completely ignored because of pre-established groups! oh and don't get me started on watching everyone else have fun with each other in a game i cant play...AHHH!!!!!!!!!!

onto the topic of pre-established groups. people arent willing to branch out anymore, this includes in real life groups and online, hell this may even apply to me, being to anxious to talk to people, and its taken a secrecy of negativity onto people.
"no one is going to talk to me so why should i even try"

i dont personally feel this way but i know other that people do. but you really have to overcome this emotions. think about it hard.  servers are public for a reason, dont be shy to talk to new people, you know. you don't have to cling onto the people like a small duckling follow its mother, you know? it isn't going to hurt you!

though i guess this goes against myself and my own social interactions... OOPS!

that is todays thought dump. sorry. i've just been really angry talking to 2 people max daily, i need friends as you can tell LOL. anyways... enough enough enough. natsuki for the soul. goodnight everynyan :-)