will i ever be lovable

I feel like there's something genuinely wrong with me, I never experienced actual teenage love because all my life I'm considered as the weird kid who will never 'grow up'

All my life I always had to reach out to others, whether it's school mates or neighbor kids, if I don't then they will never talk to me first

I don't really need anyone in my life, I know that because I am anti-social (so are my two friends), but a little love is all I need

Even small kindness can just make me think it's romance but it is just kindness, I'm not used to it unless it's from my friends or family, genuinely I'm only seen as a 'silly' person and if anyone ever would confess I'd just think it's a joke

Because overall I feel like I'll never have anyone who'd really accept me for who I am

upt: I have limerence.

it is so over