turning my spacehey account into a personal diary - Episode 1: Mature

Hello, readers and myself.

 The idea of ​​turning this account into a personal diary has just come to mind, so I'm going to put it into practice - but I'm not sure how long it will last.

 Anyway, this week I've been thinking about my relationship with my mother which, in my old view, was horrible and inhumane, but now I realize how neglectful and selfish I was towards her.

Of course, she's not the best person - nor the best mother - in the world, but I admire the effort she makes to please me and I recognize how ungrateful I was during years of my newly arrived adolescence. 

At my beautiful 14 years and 4 months, I recognized how bad I was, and now I realize that she was always trying to please and protect me. 

I was in conflict with myself and took it out on other people - especially on her - and I, who doesn't have patience, used her words as a trigger to explode and get hurt. But I can't blame her: she doesn't understand, because she didn't go through that. 

 She did not conflict with her gender and discovered herself as a trans boy; she did not witness her parents' separation at age 3; She didn't go online early and see things she should have and, above all, she didn't get depressed as a child. 

 It was difficult for me, but even more difficult for her to witness all the changes in me, the change in style and behavior, the change in opinion, the change in personality.

 Now I can recognize her affection for me, even if she doesn't accept my style and gender identity - which I hope she does soon. We've been closer than ever, and I'm enjoying our time together, joking and laughing about silly things. 

I believe that seeing (in other words: realizing) this side of my mother is an act of maturity, and I am proud of myself. I'm always told that I'm too mature for my age, and that always gives me good self-esteem.

 Changing the subject, I've been reading my books and I'm not going to stop until I read the last one in my collection: The Diary of Anne Frank. I've been going through a change and evolution lately and becoming a book lover has really done me good. I'm loving this new phase of my life! ^_^

That was all. XOXO!

Arion.

Added later: I found out I have a secret admirer from my high school and he has been sending me a lot of messages. He seems to know a lot about me and my family (He even knows the story behind my father's blindness!) and says he needs this information if he "wants to do something to me." Is it strange not to be afraid? Would you judge me if I said I actually liked it?

Well, he last texted me two days ago and hasn't shown up since. I think it's someone in my class trying to play a nasty joke on me, but at the moment, I actually like knowing that someone is so in love with me to the point of watching me and knowing so much about who I am...