Never Until Now

 Finally, I'm somewhere where you can see the faint glow of the Milky Way during the most silent 9pm. I'll always love the sounds of human joy, but I never knew how much the city polluted my front door with damning noise. I don't get to hear the kids and lambs bleat but I think I can almost hear the stars.

 This New Mexico town may not be able to be classified as "small", but it's cozy compared to the 100k+ I've been accustomed to. *I've only known living near my Neptune line, but here lays next to my lover's Venus line. Going from feeling stares on my back, hearing assumptions and rumors that try to paint me muddy, to kind acknowledgement and a freedom from evil eyes, has been just what I deserved.* Parking lots that will never be full, tidy shelves without locked glass and red blocks, bored-to-death-employees that are happy to see fresh faces. Knowing there won't be anyone I used to know.

 I have never felt more safe to be proud of my body. My sun-blocked, sun-kissed skin has never felt so soft. My hair is unbothered by the aired environment. Metallic bugs and rouge bees think I smell sweet. I bought the best salad I've ever had at a once unknown grocer (it had bell peppers and squash in it!).

 There is more dirt and rocks than anything. There's unheard lightning over the mountains behind my home. I missed the grass more when I was looking at it poisoned. Sand and dust wait to be sucked into my mouth but I am grateful that I see what could harm me. Although, the land doesn't seem to want me gone as bad as the last did.

 Never before had I heard the fire of a shotgun echo off of a plateau. Or sincerely felt I needed to know how to deal with a rattlesnake bite. There's more dispensaries here than my Willamette Valley hometown, and a restaurant server gave me the best weed chocolate that could exist. I learned about the Shroud of Turin at a museum in a mall, a mall with painted garbage "bins". 

Never have I felt so welcomed. This may not be where I belong, but it easily feels like it could be.