shit i need to get over

i need to get over the fact that im never gonna hug him again, im never gonna kiss him again, im never gonna tell him that i love him ever again, hes never gonna tell that he loves me ever again, im never gonna see his family again, im not gonna know how his life plays out, hes not gonna know how my life plays out, im not gonna know what hes thinking (not that i even did at the time), im never gonna know when hes anxious, sad, annoyed, happy, horny, pissed off, or anything, and im not gonna be his favourite ever again.

Like, i finally blocked him and deleted his number today and i realised the reason i didnt at first is because i was waiting for him to message me and be like 'i miss you, i made a mistake and i love you lets just pretend this never happened' but thats never gonna happen. its over, forever. now i just have to wait for the next one and hope it either lasts long, doesnt hurt me or both. i just hate waiting, i want this feeling to be replaced with love but thatll only happen when i learn to love myself because god knows love only appears when you arent looking for it. 

i just hate how long its taking me to come to terms with the fact that what me and him had is over. my experience with him is over and itll never expand. our love isnt continuing, its over.

THIS IS SO DUUUUMMMMMMBBBBBBBBB