Tragically beautiful

I was born into my life with drama and with the ideal of being a savior,

I’ve been idealized since the day I was born,

To be perfect, beautiful, smart, a beauty that was kind in every way,

But my life has been a beautiful tragedy, 

I’ve been ugly, selfish, hurtful like every human, 

I’ve been empty, victimized, non-human,

I blamed it all on me trying to be like everyone else, 

But deep inside it wasn't just them it was me, 

It was the weakness of allowing myself to be moved by cruel people,

I was born with beauty and rage, but mostly with the aching fear of not being good enough

I was walking through my life to be beautiful but the tragedy followed me wherever I went,

My relationships have been difficult in every way,

Romance has been falling apart with me falling for people who could never understand me, 

The way I fall in love with people who are cruel in every form,

The way they hurt me but felt like fate, it felt like true love, in the worst form  

I wanted to cling to the first love meet, to the happy memories I cling to and cry,

Too pretty when crying, maybe that's why I’ve been hurt so much, maybe I am more beautiful when broken and in pain 

I repeat the cruel words and continue to move on,

I wonder why my life is so tragic when I’ve been working on my beauty forever to be a beauty inside and out,

The romance of my life has been almost theatrical, 

But the friendships were never lasting,

The way I could never find someone to be my forever friend without the undertones of hatred and romance, 

But even worse was my unluckiness with my family and decisions,

I was born spoiled but was raised with my tragic feelings, the feelings of overfeeling, 

The ideals I couldn’t meet, the love I couldn’t receive but most of all the feelings of not being understood by someone who was meant to love me the most,

I am tragically beautiful, haunting the world with my emotional rage, and beautiful face.