holiday-ish [7/10/24]

hi ! i'm currently on holiday (sort of?), which means i have time to blog !

basically, i'm at a music seminar at an island, it's very nice and i get to have a little vacation too when i have no class :)) 

(as for the seminar, it's a vocal course, i'm being classically trained in singing which surprises a lot of people because it contrasts most of my interests and also i'm not very posh and opera-looking, bu yeah, i like it) 

i'm having a bit of an issue with being here alone tbh :// i like having the hotel room all to myself (i CANNOT wait to live alone in september FINALLY), and it's nice to sort of navigate on my own arounf the island with no social obligations.

however !!! i'm finding that after a whole year of minimal socialization since most of my friends have already left for college and also studying to get in myself with little time to go out much anyways, i've really kind of backslid in terms of social anxiety and being comfortable to talk to new people and do new things. which is actively holding me back in my courses. i'm talking i didn't go at all today, since i had no private lesson. technically i don't HAVE to go, but not stepping at the conservatory for a whole day when that's supposedly the reason i'm here (not to mention what i've paid for) is a little... yeah. also my teacher probably thinks i'm lazing out of it ang going to the beach instead or something :/

luckily i have a personal lesson tomorrow which means i'll be forced to get out of the hotel room and go no matter what. i know i'm making it sound like a chore but i'm kind of glad.

anyway ! i'm sat at the windowsill right now, it's lovely, greek islands always are. i had some coffee, and now i get to just spend some time online and listen to some music. i currently have twenty one pilots' self titled on. 

i hope i do better for the rest of the days i have.