Why I Don't Accept Add Requests from Minors [TL;DR]

TL;DR below lol

As a disclaimer — Nothin' wrong with friendships between people of different ages: I personally get along best with much much older folk. Also, there are plenty of other adults who don't mind responsibly interacting with kids online. However, it should be acknowledged that these friendships are harder to navigate on the 'net, and that some people just don't want to do that (or require clear boundaries).

I'm also fine with talking to minors in neutral online spaces like forums, games, or groups etc., I just personally don't wish to be privy to their private bulletins or add them on sites like Spacehey. Lastly, no hate to the kids on here. I'm sure you're plenty cool and hope you have a good and safe time on Spacehey.

When I started out on Friendproject at 18, I didn't think much of friendslisting younger teens. I wasn't planning on discussing anything inappropriate, so it didn't seem like an issue. I've got teenaged relatives who are pretty cool, so I figured it'd be like hanging out with them. After a while (and some aging) I started to feel uncomfortable—on my status stream, I saw those teens talking about peer-only topics like getting high, underage drinking, family issues, and sexual attraction, either forgetting or just not caring about the adult interlopers in their midst.

This felt strange and icky. I didn't want to be 'eavesdropping' on these sensitive topics. Whenever *I* talked about adult topics such as drinking, I worried that I was contributing to the normalisation of alcohol culture or underage drinking for these kids, and felt I needed to censor myself. I also felt compelled to use my limited life experience as an adult to offer advice... I doubt it helped much lol, and it made the age divide more stark.

I grew up on kid-friendly forums well-moderated by responsible adults, so this all wasn't really a concern then. I've also made friends on video games without knowing their ages beforehand, and still talk to some of those people to this day :) However, on sites like Spacehey, I feel there's fewer 'boundaries' between users—it's less like conversations between distinct groups of people and more like people talking into a microphone at a crowded bar. There's less separation between who sees/hears what.

Hopefully that metaphor makes sense. Anyway, I don't want my presence to limit what those under 18 talk about with their peers, and I don't want to limit myself with my peers either. The best solution I know of is to simply stay off each other's friends lists.

TL;DR: Even on the internet, teens need space to be themselves and *be kids* without an adult looking over their shoulders (besides adult moderators) — and I need space to be an adult around other adults, without feeling responsible for someone else's kid, watching my words, or acting as an age-inappropriate peer.

In conclusion, please be a little more discerning about who you're adding and talking to online. And PLEASE read the user's profile before you click any buttons. :]