Vent // TW: Loss of pet, Greif //

I’d like to apologize ahead of time if this gets extremely sappy, or if there are any odd spelling mistakes, I was crying while writing some of this.

I don’t regularly play adopt me on Roblox, mostly because it is just fulllllll of toxic people just gambling pets and whatever, however, I play sometimes because my girlfriend loves the game. It’s actually quite fun when you play it. Anyway, I traded for my first cat in adopt me today, and I’m super happy about it.

You may wonder why I’m happy, and I’ll tell you: I wanted a cat because I wanted a virtual version of my cat Agnes who passed away a long while back. I miss my poor baby everyday and it hurts to live without him, so I thought, to give myself some sort of - I don’t know.. - closure, or peace of mind I could have a virtual version of him? It made me feel better, certainly. 

I just miss his silly face and soft fur, I always loved to pet him because he was such a sweet boy, and he had the best textured fur ever (His fur texture IS significant to me because I have a hard time with specific textures, but I always loved the feeling of his fur <3). I remember when he used to lay down, he’d look like a charred turkey, so I’d call him turkey-butt as a joke, but as foolish as it sounds, I do often say to myself, ‘I miss my turkey-butt.’ It sounds extremely ridiculous out loud, but it means something to me. 

When I was little, I used to sit on the front porch with him and meow at the moon with him, and he’d head butt me, and I’d head butt him back, I’d do anything to do that one more time, trust me I would. I miss singing to him, and being excited to see him after school. I remember how he used to walk up to me and run along my legs, and it would always make my pants have cat hair all over them - which never bothered me of course, I found it endearing. 

I just miss my cat, man. It’s hard to go on without him, he was my comfort when no one was there for me, I’d have full blown conversations with that cat, and now he’s taken them to the grave with him, and all I can hope is that he remembers me in Raj (Essentially, Paradise, or, Heaven for those who don’t know what Raj is). 

I’m glad I at least have a plushy that looks like him, I cuddle with it often and pretend it’s my cat that I’m hugging, even though I know it never will be ever again, I like to think it would be. However, in Agnes’ honour, he’s appointed two kitties to look after me, and I’ll forever be grateful, I love those two cats, and I thank Agnes for ever existing in my life, I thank him for coming to the barn in our rental home,  I thank him for being the sweetest little kitty ever, and I thank him for being my bestest friend and brother even when he can’t be here to hear me say it.