strangers, ethel cain

i wasnt gonna post this cause i feel like i can't get to the goddamn point, but the song played on shuffle so screw it.

strangers feels sacred. a tribute to those whose lives were stolen, to those who never made it out. honestly the scariest part about the album preachers daughter is that couldve so easily been me. what makes me different from ethel? practically nothing. i guess i'm just lucky. 

"i feel happy here 'cause he told me i should be." what a line. fits a little too well with what i think i went through as a preteen, but if i talk about that too much this is going to turn into a mini trauma dump. so many of the lines in this song hit so close to home. i wonder if hayden had anyone specific in her life that she thought of when writing and making the song, if someone she knew had inspired it. if so, i hope she's doing okay. i know i'm not. 

i just cant get the thought out of my head that in another universe, one where i wasnt as lucky, i experienced the same fate as ethel cain. such is the double edged sword of such a profound song, a haunting reminder of what could have been and what i had fully expected to happen to me.

so, here's to everyone relating a little too hard to this song. you're not alone, and i'll see you when you get here.