Life

   My name is Xaveriana Cook. I'm 25 years old. Have 2 kids currently pregnant with my 3rd child, my kids are 4 year old, and 1 year. I'm due with my third in march. The last 2 years have been the most horrible time of my life, I got with a man that seemed to be the most perfect person in the world, showed love, acted like he cared, just everything you would basically want in a man. Not even 3 months being together his true colors started to show. We got into arguments all the time, he started to control things. It was just all around horrible... I stayed because i thought it was just a faze. Of course i started to care about him, and get feelings, Also i grew up in a very toxic environment so i thought things like this was normal, Let me not forget to say before this relationship with this person started i was in a former relationship with somebody we had been together for 5 years, and at the time my 4 year old was 2 years old. We were going though a lot of things, such as losing family members to, myself being the only one working at the time because he had hurt himself fathers day weekend so he had been out of work, but was stilling getting paid just not his full pay. After being stressed out and feeling alone, i went out with a friend one night ended up going and seeing an ex, hung out with him and my friend for a while.. the next day came and i went and hung out with my ex again. But this time his brother was with him. Started getting interested in his brother instead of him.. and from there we started a relationship.. We were together for almost a year, in between that time frame i ended up pregnant with my second child, and his first.. During this time.. He was going out all hours of the night in my vehicle doing who knows what.. Knowing I'm at home pregnant, and with my 2 year old. Anything could have happened.. He didn't seem to care.. over time things between us started to get bad i tried to leave multiple times.. but he would just come along and say all the right things to make me stay and feel bad.. he definitely knew how to use his words... There comes an end to everything just not the way i wanted any of it to end.. here i am 2 years later still going though all this bullshit. He's gone and never coming back. I'm left with Emotional, and Mental Illnesses and a 1 year old.. and now a background i didnt ask for..