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I have some thoughts I've been wanting to vocalize for a while and I'm not sure what to do with them so I'm gonna put them here. I want to preface this by saying I'm not hating on gay men this is just something I've noticed. For centuries lesbians have been put on the back burner with our relationships not being seen as real relationships, while mlm relationships are. You hear about places where mlm relationships are illegal, but lesbian relationships aren't because they're not "valid" relationships, both in the past and now. Almost all popular gay artists and creators are gay men. Almost all gay representation is gay men. And yes while there are lesbian artists and forms of representation that are semi popular, its only popular within the lesbian community while anything created by or including gay men is broadcasted to and enjoyed by people of all communities and backgrounds. Your average person could probably name at least 5 prominent gay male figures, but I'd be shocked if someone knew more than one lesbian figure. How often do you hear people invalidating gay men's sexuality as much as you do lesbians? "You haven't found the right guy yet." "Never say never." "I bet I could change your mind." I feel like we are and always have been on the back burner and not treated like real people with real relationships. I don't see many people talking about this and it's all rooted in sexism. I wish the gay community would do more to dismantle sexism, because sexism directly impacts how we're viewed as lesbians. Lesbianism isn't seen as valid because it's a relationship that directly de-centers men, and in the eyes of society if a woman isn't living for a man she isn't valid in her identity as a woman because that's seen as her purpose. How could we expect them to see our relationships as valid and become popular and successful figures when we're being weighed down by both sexism and homophobia? How do we expect people to respect us if we don't dismantle all this sexism? This isn't nearly as talked about as it needs to be and it bothers me.
Lesbianism isnt accepted like you think it is.
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✰starboy✰
This is so true, and I especially love how you put it- how it "isn't seen as valid because it's a relationship that directly de-centers men". I wish the queer community as a whole would have more conversations about how different levels of privilege exist even within queer people, how a gay man - especially a cis white gay man - will, despite still facing homophobia for being gay, experience miles more privilege than a lesbian, or a trans person, or a queer person of color. And it leads to transphobia within the queer community as well, with mostly cis gay men starting things like "LGB without the T" and trying to distance themselves from other queer people that are less palatable for cishet society in an attempt to be treated better (and that doesn't ever work.)
exactly! it really annoys me to see such a lack of nuance and empathy within the community. I hope one day people will realize that there's layers to everything. you can be disadvantaged in similar ways to your peers, but that doesn't mean you don't have some advantages others dont have.
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