party at H’s

Today’s party was fun, but l'm a bit depressed now. I always love seeing my coworkers smiling and laughing. But I feel like an outsider. I've worked there for six years but I still feel like people formed their cliques around and without me. When I first started (back when I was single, new, and skinny) a lot of the guys I was friends with talked to me constantly and I felt like part of the in-group. Now it's like I'm skirting around the edges of their lives. I'm close with my coworkers but talking to them takes this subtle kind of effort. I guess that's what masking is. They also didn't talk to me as much as they talked to each other. I probably seemed unapproachable. I really miss the old days. People seemed interested in me then. And the original crew was still there. Sigh