2.07.24

this is so stupid but i have nobody to talk to abt this

i'm gen so lonely it's not even funny 😭 it's affecting my daily life bc i keep daydreaming. my grades have gone down bc of it. i want something horrible to happen to me js so someone would worry about me, have me on their mind. i want to be hospitalized, bedridden if it means for someone to pay attention to me. i have three irl friends as of now, and i don't see them that often. i can't talk to them about how i feel either. i'm somehow always there for them but it's never the other way around. ig all of us are kinda trying to to repress our feelings idk. i want to be cared for by someone, to be wanted. i've changed, shifted and adjusted so many aspects of my personality and i still don't fit in, i still don't have the frienship, the relationship i dream of. this probably sounds so ungrateful, but i srsly don't know what to do anymore 😭😭 it eats me inside, my loneliness.