I'm tired (TW!!! mention of self mutilation and mental health)

So I think I may have this new thing that I never thought was a problem until now. 

I don't know what is wrong with my brain but since my self esteem has been demolished by certain people in my life, I have just gone into self destruct mode. Being diagnosed with disorders that go hand-in-hand with each other, something new is developing. 

I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder and depression in 2022. The gradual degradation of my self image has caused me to develop self mutilating and destructive behaviors such as compulsive skin and scab picking/biting/cutting (causing lesions), nail biting, scratching, etc. I am scared I have Dermatillomania, or Excoriation Disorder, which is basically a compulsive skin picking disorder that can go along with anxiety and depression diagnoses. I am hoping it's just something I will eventually grow out of and I don't have this but I am so scared and I hate that I do this.

My parents tell me to just stop picking, but it isn't that easy. It's so hard to ignore the urge to pick or bite and and it is almost painful and draining to resist the urge. I have disgusting purple scars all over my arms and legs that make me want to pick more because they're major (and blatantly visible) dermatological imperfections. What do I do?! 

I hate this.