Blog #2- ( having someone to talk to )

hi, to well.. whoever is reading this..

It hasnt even been 24hrs since my first blog post, and Im back here, geez..

Well, I actually slept for 10hrs today, because there was a storm, and now, I wake up to see a party being thrown, not at my house, but, at the villa Im at ( im on a vacation actually ).

Seeing the party made me think about friends.

What is a friend?

By dictionary definition

"a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations."

Well, let's be real, nobody makes friends like that, otheriwse, everybody who also likes walking would be my "friend".

Well, here's my definition

" A friend is a relationship, by mutual agreement that it exists,  by both parties, where you may like things about eachother. Within this rank, there are also other ranks, which is determined by intimacy level and time. "

I know that seems pretty bland, but really and truly, what a friend is, is a bit too... scattered? Idk if that's the right word, but what a friend is nowadays varies too much for me to even have a stable definition.

Now, I thought about talking about oneself, and who theyd do it to. Talking about yourself or what's bothering you is okay, but not all the time, to a friend atleast, at that point, they become your therapist!

I personally dont believe in talking to people about my problems

Because well, as I said in blog #1, I dont like talking about myself, or my problems.

I dont talk to: my parents, friends, family, or anybody

Didnt even try to get any comfort from my ex about my problems, because they had their own, and I didnt want to look "uncool" or "needy" to them.

 The only case in which I would is if it's important and could affect them too.

So when people say " I have nobody I can talk to" and you try to insert yourself, chances are, you just misunderstood what they meant, it doesnt have to mean that there's nobody in their life, moreso, it could be that theyre missing someone with the very specific traits that theyd be able to open up to \ their problems make it so that they have "nobody" that they can talk to, if yk what I mean.Most people fear of being judged amd made fun of too, so there's that as well.

But either way, it doesnt feel like I have much of a point about anything here, this just trotted along my mind, watching them party.

Personally, I think parties are cool, but just some things about them, for example, this is a pool party, and it just seems stupid getting drunk and rubbing myself against men and woman, well actually, boys and girls, theyre all 17-19, and Im 16

Yknow, do any of you every think about your "friends" and wonder if they have thoughts like these? And do things like this? I dont think anybody irl would be able to guess that I do corny blogs like this, or that I spend this much time online, because Ive been able to keep up a good appearance despite being online so much, I guess I pretty much have a life, so yknow, dont mistake me for someone who's on a desktop computer at home, in a dark room.

Im actually in vacation, in a villa, on a couch, on my phone, killing time, I guess? But anyways, for anybody who actually reads this, have a great day.