starting over

///tw!:mentions of depression, anxiety, and self harm///

please disregard anything you used to know about me. I'm starting this all over. hi, you can call me k. i'm a sophomore in high school. im in all ap classes which I know isn't reflected by my grammar and spelling but that's not the point. the point is that I get burnt out very easily and I often over work myself. i'm also team captain of our schools jv volleyball team and I'm a varsity starter with college attention. I'm not saying any of these things to brag but instead bring attention to a fact I know I cant escape. my happiness depends entirely on me being the best. its not fun. I also have issues with depression and anxiety and self-harm. my parents are extremely religious so the day I came to my mother broken down crying about my terrible dependency for success being my self worth and about how I have a very negative physical self image, she told me to find peace with God. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, good for you if you kind find peace within religion but I cant. I've tried for years. so you can tell I cant get help for any of these problems even if I asked. other then that life is ok. I broke up with someone I was dating for 7 months due to them not respecting my boundaries, and I recently started dating someone new. Ill talk about him in a separate blog though. I have one good friend I can some things too but I choose not to tell her about my mental problmes so she wont worry. I'll try to be more frequent on here and update as much as possible.