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my thoughts on death
my thoughts, more so, opinions on death are... complicated to say the least. i’ve never witnessed death in a front-on experience, but my whole live it’s followed, trailing behind me like a shadow. many of my loved ones have died, especially when i was much younger, and unaware of the reality of death. now that i’m a bit older, and much, much more mature, i have a more solid and open mind about it. i’ve opened my mind to more.. wider perspectives on death. i’ve studied and listened to others’ experiences and perspectives, many being near death experiences, others being rather more paraphiliac perspectives. i’ve listened to an interview by a woman named leilah wendell (sadly, deceased) who believed she was the lover of death himself. from then, my curiosity expanded, i’ve read a few books that i very much regret, but it was just a curiosity. i was rather interested in what drove someone to do such things. i’d prefer to not say the name of what i’m talking about, but i feel i’ve given enough context for some to understand.
rather than fear, i feel almost comforted by the thought of death. being someone who hasn’t had a very good childhood, i guess it’s something that strung along with me as i’ve lived. the comfort i feel isn’t the like a suicidal perspective, but more of a promise. we all die eventually, we don’t live forever. that makes me appreciate life and death more. it’s not easy to explain, but it’s special. holds a special place in my heart. as i sit in my RV, eating some cheap cheesecake, i smile. not for a twisted reason, but because i’m happy, content with my own existence. at times i hate it, wish i was never born, wished i could’ve died instead of ending up in a nicu, breathing out of a tube for the first month of my life. there are and will always be hardships, but in the end everything will end well. i may not be the best at advice, but remember my words: fuck the saying “what hurts you makes you stronger.” you KNOW it will hurt you, sometimes it may never make you stronger. change that quiet to something that eases the mind, or at least mine: “what hurts you makes you weak, what heals you makes you stronger.” you need to find what heals you, that’s how you get through difficult times. that is how you live.
ah, what went from me talking about death, changed into a ted talk, lol.
Comments
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Dr.Doctor
Hello! Sorry if this is such a random comment on a post that is assumingly 4 months old, but I stumbled onto your account and I just have to say that this is such an interesting take that I resonate with personally. As someone who has lost a lot of people and seen different reasons for someones death, it's almost crazy to think that someone could gain paraphilias and religious values based around the ideas of what happens after we return to the flesh, and yet is that not what Christianity strives to be?
It's also interesting to see from an objective point of view, outside of just being human, how this process goes on as if the people around us are united by a common purpose. no matter class or circumstance, we die all the same and we rot all the same whenever it calls to us, and it's a natural occurrence that happens. Just like becoming born, I suppose.
That's all I can really say, haha. I've always thought about death since it used to be a huge fear of mine, but since a few years ago I've always wanted to explore the ideas further :-]
not_ian
your perspective is really interesting! death is something so curious, yet so complex when you think about. it can be something feared by many, and beautiful in other eyes, lol.
i appreciate the comment. i believe i will forever see death as beauty. everyone should. there’s a strange peace that comes with it, that many can’t seem to see.
by Viviemortis; ; Report
definetly. i think you already did, but have you heard of the expression "memento mori", from the stoic philosophy? i believe it really suits the theme well.
by not_ian; ; Report
i could agree. i’m not big on philosophy, but i see what you mean. all of what i’ve written could easily just be simplified to memento mori, lol.
by Viviemortis; ; Report
Raja
beautifully worded you talk like a poet or some shit
thank you, lol. i do write sometimes, but i’m not the greatest at it, i really appreciate it though.
by Viviemortis; ; Report
GABRIEL GIORDANO KISSER
YES, EXACTLY Its very interesting how death is and like I'm familiar with passing away but a HUGE chunk of death I'm curious on is how people will let it eat them alive by curiosity or other factors
(HUGE MENTION/TALK OF SUICIDE?)
I know there are some cases where people are generally done with what has happened with their life and want out and (I don't want this to sound like an edge lord type move) but that's fine with me but what's weird is that another person will be so bored that they do that too but out of boredom and it's not a huge deal and then there's people who will off themselves out of curiosity ITS JUST SO AAAAAAAAAAAAA death is everywhere and I'm paranoid cause i am scared (no clue why I said that) But how people treat death is so weird due to the fact we will never know what is really after death
(I hope I sound understandable I'm writing this half-awake but the talk of death is so interesting)
but you said everything perfectly I wanna add something groundbreaking but again you got to the point so clearly
yeah, my perspective on suicide has changed since reading some other interviews in leilah. she’s a very interesting woman, with interesting thoughts.
this was what she answered when someone asked her how she felt about suicide:
LW: My personal thought on suicide (having been at that brink in my younger days) is that it is a selfish act. Not only does it guarantee you a return ticket back into the flesh to complete the purpose of that particular life, but what it does to those you leave behind is simply not right. I understand HOW one gets to that point very well, and often one is alone with those thoughts and desperation leads to many things. Yet, if people just understood that EACH life we live HAS purpose, even if it isn't evident to them at the moment, I think folks would think twice. I've had many people tell me that Death actually SAVED their lives during a suicide attempt by showing them what would be if in fact they did take their own life at that moment. In my younger days when I was at that brink, all I could think of was that I wanted to be with Him, not here. I didn't "belong" here and I viewed this life as a barrier between me and Him. As our relationship grew, I began to understand that by sacrificing a part of Himself (me) to this world, my life had more meaning than I could grasp at that moment. Like most people, I was impatient, selfish, unwilling to see the Big Picture. Once you see that, you understand everything and the importance of every nuance, and every life.
for short, she pretty much said she believed that suicide was cheating death, and you should let death take you as you’re meant to die.
i understand the sort of fear of what’s after death. i don’t place myself in any religion, with that, i don’t believe in a heaven or hell, or reincarnation. none of that. it’s more of a nihilistic view, but i believe we just cease to exist. we will be nothing and that’s everything. the five to ten years after we’re buried away 6 feet under, we’ve been returned to the earth, feeding the soil, worms, feeding the birds and fauna.
i’m sure i’m yapping, but i just think death is such a beautiful thing.
by Viviemortis; ; Report
Timgirsu
Death comes for us all. She keeps a busy schedule so it's best to live in the moment. Because you never know when your time will come. I find that your thoughts on this are very mature and relatable. Death shouldn't be something we fear. We should welcome it with open arms once our time comes. It shouldn't be something we are scared of. But regardless, I agree!
yes! i know many struggle with it, and it’s completely understandable and a normal reaction. i just wish sometimes many others could see my perspective and feel a sort of change. like you said; to welcome it with open arms.
by Viviemortis; ; Report