stressing :/ (vent)

i'm stressing a lot. life is getting so, so hard.

im stressing abt my trip to california, my relationships with ppl, my homelife, everything. everything feels so hard. i feel like im drowning. i feel like im not real sometimes. i disassociate really bad. i think maybe that i wanna control the uncontrollable and its stressing me out that i cant. sometimes i feel like im suffocating. ive noticed a lot more ppl avoiding me. or getting upset with me. even though i feel like i've done nothing wrong? sure, im not always a spark of joy but i genuinely do not see anything i do or say as wrong. bcz like, im not bigoted i dont think?

idk. i got rlly off track. point of this is tht everything j feels so, so hard. im gonna push through it. i j needed a space to vent abt it. thx to anyone who read this, i hope ur doing well. genuinely <3

- xox rave / mitch