My day

29/06/24

I walked my dog today because I had a day off work. I was really anxious to actually go outside and walk him, because, for whatever reason, my mental health has just spiralled this year; I've barely been leaving my room except for school/work, and like maybe 3 or so times my friends and I have gone out. Basically, only if it was necessary for me to leave. I've just been so afraid of everything, and everyone. 

Anyway, that's why walking my dog felt like a big achievement. Which sounds stupid. Usually, I'd have to fend off a panic attack if I was outside alone, but since I was pretty much just focused on my dog and the music playing in my headphones, I actually felt fine. Good, even. The weather was unusually nice as well. I did get nervous when I walked past other people, but it wasn't as bad as usual. We walked around 6.5km, so he was very tired when we came home. I was a little as well.

Once I got back I brushed him out and then made myself a really good sandwich and had a cup of coffee. I watched a movie, too, called Steel Toes. It was based off the book Cherry Docs, by David Gow. I thought it was a really good movie; interesting concept, great acting, and some really nice shots. 

I still feel kind of shitty for a reason I can't explain, but I think that's kind of unavoidable when all I've done the past year is rot. I'm trying to get better and it's going alright, but it's not very comfortable or fun; I just hope it'll get easier. I'm glad that my dog at least had a good time. he hadn't been on a walk for a while, so he must've been glad to get out.

I think I'm gonna try to update this blog a bit more often because I kind of like being able to talk about this. It's nice t have a place to ramble that isn't a physical diary, and where people may see and also reply to. Maybe.

xp idk