sad queer experience i guess??

ok so ik this is probably a very very common experience, but i just recently started thinking about it??? its honestly nothing huge but i have no clue how i feel about it tbh. 

so i've known i like girls (as a girl) since i was in about fourth grade, so about 10 years old. my first ever girlfriend was a year after i realized i liked girls. it was a very easy thing to accept because i grew up in a (mostly) supportive environment, my brother has been gay longer than i've even been alive and my mom has never had too much of an issue with either of us being a form of queer. so because of this i was very comfortable with myself and my identity as much as a queer person in a public school can be. 

anyway, my first girlfriend had been my best friend since about third grade,we had dated for almost two years and it ended on mutual terms so nothing weird there. but because we had dated at such a young age, we were surrounded with each other in our formative years. she introduced me to everything that made me who i am today. she got me into mcr, fob, dnp, anime, and sososo much stuff. aside from the obvious character development that happens between being 10 and 16, i'm still the same person i was all those years ago, the same person she made me. 

but now, we haven't talked or seen each other in a few years. i know it's normal to get distant, and it's not that i still love her. but it just so strange that we were basically the same person 6 years ago and now we're polar opposites that don't talk anymore. 

she's straight, i'm still gay. she watches outer banks, i'm still watching dan and phil. she scrolls through tiktok when she's bored, i still look through all our old favorite tags on tumblr.

i don't know what else to say about it. it's so strange to see the person who made me who i am to this day be a completely different person while I'm still the same.