27/06/24 - birthday party

keep forgetting to update this thing but really it’s just for me to vent when things feel a little too much

my friends having a birthday party tomorrow that I really don’t wanna go to. don’t get me wrong, love her, and love everyone else that is allegedly going to be there, but I feel so socially drained and I don’t want to go outside and be recognized by a bunch of people and have to talk and start conversation and be there for like 5 hours. 1 hour and I’ll want to go home. The ole Irish goodbye.

I still have her birthday gift, which I’ll give her another time. I’m gonna try and see if I can convince them that I have to hangout with a cousin? I have tons of cousins so surely she’d be convinced?? I’ll put money in the card with her gift and maybe bribe her to forgive me.

Also update on the boy that I forgot about until just now; it’s been 4 weeks since we last even interacted with each other. Idk what happened, but I’m happy that I don’t have to deal with it anymore. Seriously, he hasn’t even looked me in the eyes.

Maybe he heard I was lesbian? I’m not lesbian, but lately I’ve been telling people that in the hopes it scares away a majority of potential threats. Which is boys. No offense, love dudes, just reeally can’t handle them sometimes! No, Eric, I DON’T know what kai cenat and fanum were doing in that one stream, nor do I really care!! I just can’t understand them sometimes, but I guess they don’t understand me either. Other than the fact that I’m undiagnosed in some aspect

Yeah, ranting like this on the internet for everyone to see really is cathartic. No one even has to respond. And if they do, they don’t even have to comment, can just give a kudos or two. It’s great! The internet is the future! Evolution is Awesome!

Back to the birthday party, I’m considering pretending to be sick now. They know I’m not close with any of my cousins and most of them aren’t the same generation as me or are cooler and more mentally stable. But also I’ve called in sick to important events multiple times, I did so at graduation and was paid back with stolen goods. Goods which still wasn’t returned by the way. I don’t think they care enough to return them. Or maybe they were planning to return them when I arrived at the birthday party.

I start work soon, which I feel like I should be excited about, but who’d be excited to file invoices all day. Or put stamps on envelopes.

This one was a particularly long one folks, and I forget if I even had a signature writing style, but honestly I think my writing style is sporadic schizo-esque word rambling explosion implosion so I guess this works out

I’ve been drawing lately so perhaps in the next one I’ll show some of my works. Hopefully the next one will also be more… coherent. And less maniacal.