Let Me Live: An explanation?? and rant

MY FAMILY DOES NOT RESPECT MY PERSONAL BELONGINGS!!!!!!!!! OR ME!!!!!!!!!! THIS BLOG IS GOING TO BE A RANT SO DONT READ IT IF U DONT LIKE THAT STUFF !!!!!!!!!!!

im so tired im just: ?????? <-- literally me right now

last night my mother broke my laptop hinge on purpose and then tried to fix it later but it didnt work and this makes me so mad because my laptop is the only happiness i have in my life i dont care how much of a loser that makes me sound i love the internet its my only escape from my crappy life i hate everything i hate school i hate my family life i hate home i hate it all i only like the internet where i can be someone else and live a differeeeent life or rant about stupid crap 

i like being silkchan i am silkchan but silkchan isnt happy because if i played the character of someone whos happy, lovely, has a cool family, has a boyfriend and a HUGE friendgroup i wouldnt know how to act so 

i am silkchan because silkchan is a girl who lives the same life as me 

last year my sister threw my laptop and broke the hinge luckily i fixed it yet it still had a crack. its funny because eveeryone in my familuu knows i have issues yet they dont want to get me diagnosed because then its 'real' so they use the excuse of: 

"We dont believe in mental health" / "Mental health disorders? As a teenager? Impossible."

i need help i know i do my head is a crappy place i dont like it i always distract myself by doing things so i wont think or be elft alone with my thoughts but im scared i dont like it anymore nothing is enough to distract me now im left alone;;;;;;;;;;;;;

i wont get help any time soon, im stuck being here. in a cycle of "use the internet to escape from ur crappy life" & sleep.

to anyone who calls me bait i genuinely dont care if u think any of my blogs or even my whole profile is bait im sick of everyone who calls me a bait poster this is real and im sorry u cant handle it u think my life is so horrible that its fake?

my other blogs will probably be more happier than this one im sorry i even had to post this 

SILK-CHAN LOVES YOU!!!!!! :3