discord stalker!!

ive been subject to a lot of things online and irl. but this has TAKEN the cup for the worst thing ive EVER been through.

I have myabe 3 ex's. The first one is my problem. I know him only by Nikin or Nicki. He goes by lowkmerwo on discord. He is a rapist, stalker, child lover and child groomer. I met Nikin when I was FRESHLY 12 (turning 14 in less than a month.) He had said something to my second ex (blueberry) and then blueberry told me. I remember him saying "yk nicki like you?" I didn't know WHAT to think about this, but I just accepeted it as I was 12 and had never been in a relationship before. He told me he was 13. I believed him. I didn't have any reason to NOT believe him. Our relationship lasted 7 months at most. But throughout this relationship we barely talked because the platform of which we met on had his account terminated or smth. So he told blueberry to tell me we're over. I didn't really care and thought, "okay I guess i wont be seeing him anymore!" This was my first experience with being groomed...

Fast forward to march, me and blueberry started dating. It was a better relationship than the one I had with Nicki. So I pushed Nikin out of my mind and focused solely on my future. But, things started changing too fast for my liking. In April of 2023, I had tried to kill myself, and I told my school therapist. I was kept in a room with the therapist all day and I wasn't allowed to do much. After that I was on a down hill. In May I went to therapy and was in progress of getting diagnosed for my possible mental illness(s.) I had summer school this year as well (this is very important.) I went there and home monday - thursday. On the last week of summer school, something inside of me snapped. I told the counselor at the school at this time that I wanted to end my life and that I was always SHing. I was then baker acted and sent to a mental hospital for 3 days. Once I was out a lot more happened and I was forced to delete discord. I was too stubborn for my own good though, and I got it again and figured out how to get out of the restraints put on me. I then started school. It was rather good. Until suddenly Nikin had discord and I was being contacted by him. I was tricked into a false sense of security with this man, he told me he was 21 and a woman. I believed him because I HAD NO REASON NOT TO. We started dating again andbI was in a relationship dating Nicki along with blueberry, murray/mio, and Dee. But i was manipulated more in this relationship. I was told when we broke things off again, if Dee blocked Nikin, Murray would get hurt. If I blocked Nikin, Dee would get hurt. If Murray blocked Nikin, blueberry would get hurt. But if blueberry blocked Nikin, everyone would be kidnapped by Nikin and hurt by him. I wasn't worried about this happening until blueberry ACTUALLY blocked Nikin because of an argument we had. I was fearful and paranoid for a while week. His threat turned out to be hollow and I thought I was safe after blocking him again. In december of the same year, I tried to run away. I was caught and grounded for 5 months. But for christmas, I had sadly recieved a laptop, so I still managed to stay in contact with everyone. I've had my phone(s) for a possible 3 months now. In these three months, everything has escelated.

In April, I started working and it was the best thing to ever possibly happen to me because I had met my people. I worked two jobs in the same place until May 1st where I switched divisions and work better now. The day before I resigned from one of my positions, I was faced with Nicki being back along with some newer people. Being with Nicki had awakened something in me, and I could tell who was real and who wasn't. Things were happening in my head that made me go into overtime. Two new people were invited into our small discord server, Ron and orange. Ron and orange had never particularly liked me, somethings had been said about me by blueberry, and they decided that they hated me. I never got why, but I knew from the beginning that they had NO good intentions. Less than a month later, I get thrown into a fight with ron and I figure out his true intentions from there. He was kicked from our server with no invitation back. A few days later orange met the same fate, but orange has been accepted to talk to me again. After this, someone had invited Nikin back to our server. Not much happened until this past two weeks, everyone was buddy buddy with him. Another "friend" of blueberry's was invited, his name was Ray. I wanted to be his friend from the start but there was still something off. He was encouraging the wrong things for blueberry. I picked up on this in less than a week of him being here. I pickdd a fight with him and of course he acted innocent until the end. he stated "Nikin was right you can see through ppl lol" and I banned him. Nicki was still here and he started to say things that ray was saying. he was going too far, so he was kicked several times, then banned. he had been in contact with blueberry for a possible week aftwr he had been banned. blueberry ended up blocking him. then nikin came to me. he started telling me that i should tell blueberry to unblock him. each time i trolled and said no with any explicit gif i had. Until last week thursday that was all I did. And something important to note isnthat from two weeks ago thursday to last week tuesday, i had been off of work and on vacation. as SOON as I got back the drama started. Nicki kept telling me to make blueberry unblock him, i kept trolling. then I started giving him actual responses. I did this until the 22 of this month. I have a sort of ability where I have dreams about the possible and incoming future. I told someone about my dream because it was weird and freaking me out. I told him, the response I got was "THATS WHAT HE SAID IN MY DREAM" I was scared. Never before have I had the same dream as someone. I found out that his same day that this guy was in the hospital because he was ATTACKED by nikin....

This dream predicament, the person saw more. It was Nikin bragging about killing blueberry and showing off pictures of him dead. I was physically sick all day. The same night, blueberry nearly had a mental breakdown. It was bad but everything was nicer in the morning. Still though. Nothing sleeps forever with Nikin around. I messaged him a lot the day after blueberrys break, and I gave him some unhigned comments and answers. He threatened to kill blueberry on a earlier date than he "wants" to. I stopped the second time he moved the date. Then he accidentally messaged me saying that blueberry is cute when he sleeps. he ended up never deleting the message, so I can still see it. After this he said a lot more to me but it isn't too important. I attempted to toy with him a bit, and its clear he cant tell when im manipulating him. He called me autistic after I jokingly said I cant count. I called him a cunt and said to not use me being ACTUALLY autistic against me. he said he can do whatever he wants. then he said "u and blueberry need to have a sleepover" i agreed because me and blueberry are bestfriends. though i asked him WHY because hes weird about things like this. and he responded with verbatim, "so i can watch u both"... I was grossed but I played along we exchanged more words until he said "might js be blueberry" i didn't exaclty catch what he meant until he said "im saying blueberry might be staring hard at u 💀" again i was made uncomfortable but i still had to play along to get all the info i needed. he said that he would make up another lie about me after we said more things to each other. I ended up regressing because it reminded me a bit too much of other things ive been told....

Yesterday was the last time we ACTUALLY talked, but yet agsin Nikin never fails to do some bs. he threatened anonher friend of blueberry that i somewhat trust, and i informed the friend. i dont really know if they're talking or what, but i do know nikin wants to ruin EVERYONE'S lives and he won't stop at anything to get his way. stay safe online and make sure to not friend anyone with the user lowkmerwo.