24 hours of *creative* work challenge

SOOOOO, it's time to draw a conclusion of my 24 hours of work. I challenged myself to do my creative job for 24 hours almost straight :) 

How did it go? These hours were divided into 2 days, on the first day I worked 14 hours, on the second day 10, I did not count breaks for lunch and walking around my apartment. I also didn't count time looking for refs and thinking. 

I divided them because being exhausted the whole second part of the day is not going to lead me anywhere good. 

I realized that this is generally how I work every day. But then where does the feeling of feeling like I'm wasting time incomprehensibly come from? Why am I getting things done but not getting anything done?

It's simple. I'm spreading my attention around, I'm doing a ton of stuff unrelated to it in addition to all the work during work hours. Like cooking or cleaning. 

The time in my day is so blurred, I don't have a specific routine that keeps everything in check, so to speak. Of course it's a plus that I have a loose routine, because then I don't have a connection like I've listened to 3 of these songs so it's going to be a good day. My ocd is not raging. 

I realized that it's okay for me to get up in the middle of the work process, stress out and go vacuuming. I end up trying to be in ten places at once and get very nervous when I have to go somewhere else out of the plan. And I do, and quite often. So I don't even plan a moment in the day when I can go out for a walk. I just, uh... go out when I have to. Because if I go out too, I'm not gonna get anything done. 

And it's annoying. 

It makes me either do something all day and not get it done, or I don't do anything at all. 

And I don't have time because every day there's something new I have to do. And I don't manage to do what i started, because every day there is something new that I have to do. It's a study, it's some other request from above, a new idea that is better than the old one, and I don't want to finish the old one because its time has passed and I've been working on it for too long. 

I'm built for short, varied tasks that can be done in 2-3 approaches. When it's one approach, it's like I've been doing some bullshit the whole time. You know. Too easy to be anything serious. That's why I rarely paint anything heavy. 

Plus with this schedule, I don't have time to take time to do something quiet, like play a game. Or lying down. No, I always have time to lie down, because otherwise I feel physically ill. But I can't lie down and watch a TV series without thinking about work and the future. I can't rest. And what does that lead to? I lie in bed for up to three hours on the Internet. And it's affecting me. I end up tired all the time.

That's what i need to work on. 

That's my thoughts so far. Thank you for being with me.