It’s my birthday and I don’t want it to be

Today’s my 16th birthday But I don’t want to celebrate. I can’t fully express why but every time I think about my birthday I feel so overwhelmed but I’m not sure by what I’m not feeling sad but I definitely not happy about it and now it’s here it’s my birthday 

I don’t like my birthday anymore it’s just not as fun as it used to be 

Now the idea of eating cake and going out makes me feel ill 

My mom got me a cake and a gift 

I don’t wana make her feel like I don’t like the gift but I can’t smile when I opened it

I feel bad 

I want her to be happy that she got me a gift and I want to be happy it’s my birthday 

help