dad.

he physically abused me today, because i stayed up too late. he loves me i know. but he abuses me sometimes. when i stand up for myself, when i stand up for others, when i show him im not scared of him, when i show him im stronger.

he loves me, why does he hurt me? why does he never think twice before hurting me, physicially and mentally. he said hes sorry before. he repeated his mistakes though. why do i forgive him?

because i love him too. hes not okay mentally, he will never be, he will never let me, never let my mom too. i hope he gets okay, and let me be okay, and let my mom be okay. 

i hope he doesn't make me cry again. i will hope longer.