When he's the best person you've ever met and genuinely want to be with him 24/7

But he's over a whole-ass decade older than you. WHY.

I'm screaming, he's so kind, all our conversations are really deep and we've shared so much personal information with eachother that I normally wouldn't share. I think I can trust him to genuinely talk about my problems but ughhh he's so much older and just a month ago he was telling me about some girl he met and oml I'm DYING.

Sometimes I feel like he doesn't care about me the way I care about him, but he always reassures me in one way or another. Then again, he is very extroverted and easily makes friends with anybody. He's told me time and time again that he cares though so that's something.

Honestly, only issues with him is the huge age gap and the fact that I haven't seen him interact with others in order to tell if our relationship is of any significance or if I'm just yet another person he just met and talks to. Also he very obviously would never like me in any way further from platonic and I refuse to openly talk about my crush on him with others close to me who know who he is.

He just makes me all kinds of happy. He's genuinely one of the best people I've had the pleasure of meeting. I could talk to him for days or even months on end and I'd never get bored. And every time I ask him if he actually cares or if he secretly hates me he somehow manages to reassure me. He has expressed feelings of affection towards me and has given me the title/petname he uses for his female friends which means he sees me platonically. 

I recall, he said he feels vaguely protective over me and didn't realise it until I told him about something that happened to me, which I will not name. Then he shared his experience and we spoke about it and I just feel pure adoration for that man. 

I know it will never be, and I know he would probably not react all too well if he learned about my feelings towards him. I just needed to get this out of my chest.