Antisocial Extrovert

I like going outside and hanging around people. When I'm having conversations with someone I like, it can mean the world to me. The topic doesn't matter -- all I need is someone cool I can talk to and a nice environment to do it in, and within 10 minutes we'll be cracking jokes and coming up with inside jokes we'll be using for the rest of our lives. Back in high school and even in college, everyone always says they love spending time around me and, when given the chance, people have given me the title of "life of the party" over and over again.

I do not like hanging around people. YEAH YEAH I KNOW THIS IS THE 40TH POST ON HERE WHERE I COMPLAIN LOL SORRY but seriously, there are a lot of people I know that I simply do not like hanging around, only doing so to try and keep up the notion that I'm good friends with them. Either because they're emotionally unstable, emotionally needy or some combination of all of the above, I don't like a lot of people I would normally consider myself to be friends with on some level but can never be honest and break the news to them (heads up if you ask me if this is you i WILL dodge the question and send you an image of an onion whether or not I actually fuck with you). It's just some people and their vibes man, where they either try too hard and push a persona or so basic to the point where I ask myself if they've ever spent so much as a second to do some introspection. I don't like loud, unfunny people! I want to talk to people and get irritated when I'm talked over (which happens often as someone who is soft-spoken 80% of the time) and feel compelled to profusely apologize when I interrupt someone, knowing they will never do the same because their brains can't register bending a bit to help someone else. 

Balancing these two can get difficult, real quick. People have invited me to shit constantly... only for me to show up and do nothing as everyone else talks around me and to each other. It's happened at social gatherings, parties, my own damn birthdays, etc. and it's guaranteed to happen so often to the point where I've started to become paranoid and exhausted when I have to meet new people who I can immediately register as 'fucking annoying'. It's not hard to tell. Within 5 minutes of talking to someone you can easily determine whether or not someone is funny, chill, unfunny/loud, someone you can have deep convos with and someone who is/was probably a pedophile at one point or another. Being soft spoken and being oft-interrupted, I learn to pick up information from those I'm around when I go to social functions and study their mannerisms instead of 'living in the moment' and having a blast like everyone else. If you ever find yourself in a situation where everybody claims to want to talk to you but you're sitting by yourself around said people, try studying people! Peoplewatching is an interesting hobby that appeals to someone like me and it saves me unnecessary trouble when I can detect that if I do something or attend an event, some annoying motherfucker is guaranteed to ruin my night, so I shouldn't bother.

To prove my point regarding that part about people's claims versus how they treat me, I will not tell anyone of you about this one. If you're reading this, even if you're doing it hours or days from now, thank you for caring without having to be coerced into caring. Otherwise? Know that I stay watching when y'all make asses out of yourselves.