i keep getting so worked up about everything and i dont know why (errm cw for sh and intrusive thoughts?)

like, I'm super irritable and things that are essentially a complete non issue fuck me up so bad 

spilling things, for example

people spill things all the time, but for some reason whenever I do (on the regular, I knock over stuff constantly) it's just such an engaging and frustrating thing, I'll literally hurt myself over something like that

or bad internet. god I CANNOT stress how agitated i get, I feel like I'm literally going crazy when it just won't work at all

or losing/misplacing things, I keep doing it and I hate it so much, its like I can never keep anything that makes me happy

I can't stop hitting myself in the head and legs or biting my hands at the mildest fucking inconvenience and I'm so scared I'm gonna permanently damage something if I go on with it

I just feel the need to rip my skin off of me, dig my nails into my flesh and just rip away, those images will just pop up anytime everyday to the point where I'm just very used to constant thoughts of self mutilation and it uhh...sucks, kinda? obviously? yeah idek where I'm going w this I js wanted to blow off some steam