Wedding

That was the best wedding ive ever been too, not because it was good, but because it was the product of what happens when you put loads of pissheads with their crackhead kids togeather for long enough. 

So the bride was my cousin from the family that adopted my bio-mother, and their all a bit mental. 
So heres a list of all the things that happened:

- found out my aunt has vitiligo on her hands
- found out my uncle had one too many strokes and is now in a wheelchair
- one of the 5 yr old flower girls stacked it down the isle.
- the bride managed to go from sober to drunk instantly
- she then fell down the stairs,, twice
- the second after they said 'i do' a random baby screeched out unheard horrors
- because my uncle cant speak very well anymore, the best man did his speech for him and in the middle of it he pretended TO FUCKING DIE
- my dad broke a pub stool by existing near it
- this waitress kept giving me free alcohol for some reason
- the pregnant photographer thought she was having contractions at one point
- child fell into a fountain to see the koi
- bridesmaid tried discreetly vaping during the ceremony
- groom got doinked in the head with a golf ball
- another child projectile vomited in the middle of the dinner hall
- accidentally shot hand cream out of the dispenser onto another cousins kid who was sitting on the sink counter
- my dad getting bored and deconstructing the disposable camera to ruin the film
- my step mothers yap game is insane

Everyone had a good time??? i think?? I definitely did lol

cause hell sheeple