what the hell??

i been relapsing from self harm BACK TO BACK. cause i miss zhongli. is been 139 days without zhongli. i’m starting to forget how to take showers cause i’m always falling asleep as late as 7 pm and waking up at 11 pm now. i don’t know what physical affection is now i’m starting to sweat when i wake up i’m suddenly heated at night it feels weird to blink now ummm what else. i can’t think straight. i feel sick I DONT FUCKING KNOW. I MISS HIM. FUCK.