Shades of Grey

My only constant is being inconsistent

Sometimes feeling like I’m nonexistent

I’m fine one minute, then the next I’m shattered

There’s a pain in my chest: I’ve been daggered

When you ask me how I’m feeling, I’m not always sure

Sometimes I say nothing so you don’t think I’m absurd

If you could read my mind, you’d be confused too

Or maybe you’d understand the hell I’ve been through

I’m trapped in between a smile and a frown

It’s hard for me to tell if I’m up or if I’m down

I never really know the right words to explain

So I think I’ll stay quiet so you don’t think I’m insane

Then again, I’m not sure I’m quite right either

“These meds,” they say, “are meant to be a teether”

I see the world a little bit different

I can’t always help if I’m a somewhat belligerent

My mind is full of exigent demons

They take over my body and I try to defeat them

They’re not always roaring, but they never really leave

Quieting themselves down in order to deceive 

Nothing’s ever exactly how it seems

Pay attention to the quiet screams