Learning how to just be…

It’s difficult to just let yourself exist in the world as you are. To not want for anything…I feel so touch starved that I may explode, but I want to be okay with that. I want to be completely comfortable on my own.

But I guess two things can exist at once. I can desire touch, yet feel comfortable on my own.One  thing I try to remember is that I am capable of being loved. Because people love me. Perhaps not romantically, but I have friends, colleagues, family, and professors that care about me. I was loved romantically before, and I can be again. 

Sometimes, I wish my brain had an off switch, so I could just block people and desires out. But I’m human, and being a human is complicated and weird. Nothing is ever straightforward or easy.

I have to just learn how to be…