UPDATE

It's summer now, well, I got let out of school early, the vice thought it would be better for me I guess. The thing that sucks is that my parents are always at work. my dad 12pm-10pm and my mom 430am-5pm. I get some hours to myself, which is nice, but boring. I am an only child, and not old enough to drive, the town is like an hour's walk away and there are creeps everywhere, so I just stay inside.

During these days I was off for school, and my friends were still at school, so I couldn't see them during the day. I had one friend who felt left out by my other friend, who always left her out, and started to leave me out too. so, I texted our shared group, and a few minutes later she responded rudely. I was offended, to say the least, we argued for a bit until she called me.

taking after my father, I started yelling, cursing, getting mad, and making threats I shouldn't have, like fighting. 

I felt as if my friend had changed, and she had, due to the people around her. I remember she was such a kind, sweet soul, who didn't hate anyone, but now she's just, judgmental. 

I feel as if she lets people walk all over her. That was what made her change.

I only have 2 close friends now, I don't know if it'll last long, to be honest. 

Next year, I dread school. Not many people like me, and I broke off my first relationship with my boyfriend.

I know, if someone doesn't like you, there's a reason. so, I ask and get stupid answers. I'm sorry that your boyfriend liked me before you guys were together, and I'm sorry that i stopped talking to him after he sexualized me. 

god, It feels nice to write out my feelings instead of stuttering and stammering it people who don't care. 

- ellie, 10:58 PM 6/20/2024