growing out of a person

growing resentment for someone is growing pains. its really frustrating and hurts, and mentally i know it is probably unfair but its like my heart is doing it no matter how much i do not want to and know it is irrational.

have you ever been so jealous of someone you love? person has everything you want and constantly complains to you they have nothing. their friends hate you over stupid, childish reasons and they defend the friends over you, even after admitting to you they think the friends point is stupid. they pick everyone over you, matter of fact. youre always wrong and the problem to them. they do not help you when you ask for it, despite you doing everything in your power to make life easy for them and help them. 

it makes me absolutely infuriated and i cannot even talk about it with them because we will never be able to come to a compromise about anything!!!!! it feels like they value their online friends over our in-person relationship. i genuinely feel like shit whenever i think too hard about it - or even a little bit. 

i am beginning to find our conversations very empty.. or waking up to the fact that when we talk we are not talking about anything of substance because person actively dislikes my special interest, and does not really see the world through a lense of any similarity - differences in world views are beautiful things, but what if person does not even want to try to think of the abstract thoughts about the universe that consume your mind and make up a great portion of your identity. 

i feel like i have lost a great chunk of myself and who i enjoyed being, because i am walking on eggshells. 

the obvious thing to do is end the relationship but i am still actively very in love with this person, just stuck in a frustration purgatory of being deeply invested emotionally and financially - but feeling like i cannot for the life of me be myself. i enjoy my time around them, but after the fact realize it is all shallow, and sometimes the way they act deeply hurts me. telling me to my face they are incapable of comforting me is a real deal-breaker for me, hope others can relate to that being one too.