TW for swearing, suicide mention ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

Will be updated as my life becomes more lived and I figure out more shit

IF YOU HAVE DEPRESSION, PLEASE SEEK ACTUAL MEDICAL HELP. I AM NOT A DOCTOR AND CANNOT HELP YOU. THESE ARE SHORT TERM TIPS AND ACTUAL DOCTORS ARE SMARTER THAN I AM.
I. AM. NOT. A. DOCTOR. I AM SOME RANDOM BITCH ON THE INTERNET THAT BARELY KNOWS WHAT THEYRE DOING.

I WILL BE GIVING YOU MEDIOCRE HEALTH TIPS IN A REALLY FUCKING AGGRESSIVE FASHION. LIKE KARKAT FROM HOMESTUCK.

Health tip 1

Want to eat something healthy but don't have time to prepare something healthy OR can’t afford it?

BEEF. MOTHERFUCKING. JERKY.

ITS REALLY GOOD AND GOOD FOR YOU 

and its c h e a p ;)

Jerky sticks like Slim Jims are like 2 dollars at your local Walmart or whatever 

PROTIEN.

It's not a permanent substitute and you should eat fruits and veggies and stuff but damn is it good

BUT PLEASE FUCKING EAT FRUITS AND VEGETABLES PLEASE THIS IS A TEMPORARY FUCKING SOLUTION THAT LASTS LIKE ONE TIME

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Health tip 2

Want to feel less depressed all the fuckin time???

STOP SAYING UR GONNA KILL URSELF. EVEN JOKINGLY, LIKE SERIOUSLY SAYING STUFF LIKE THAT MAKES UR MENTAL HEALTH SO MUCH FUCKING WORSE. 

joke abt how perfect you are instead it's funnier and it boosts your ego

Ex:

WRONG:

im gonna kms

RIGHT:

*fucks something up* speedrun strats

*trips and falls* I am graceful and perfect what are you talking abt

*makes a mistake* it's for the vine

IVE BEEN DOING THIS RECENTLY AND I FEEL A LOT FUCKING BETTER

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Health tip 3

Too depressed to shower, cause ur really tired and had a bad day and just can’t bring yourself to do it??

DONT FUCKIN WORRY ABT IT JUST GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP OR GET ON WITH UR DAY

If you take a shower in the morning, do it in the afternoon instead. If you take them in the afternoon, take one next morning.

Exceptions include: 

You shower in the morning and are doing something important today

You shower in the afternoon and are doing something important tomorrow 

DONT DO THIS FOR MORE THAN ONE OR TWO FUCKING DAYS IN A ROW THOUGH, SHOWERS CAN MAKE YOU LESS DEPRESSED TOO

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Health tip 4

DRINK WATER YOU FUCKING HEATHEN

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Health tip 5

Stressed for a reason you can’t really control???? (Anxiety, something someone said, Etc)

IF POSSIBLE, GO OUTSIDE AND LAY IN THE FUCKING GRASS FOR A BIT

YOU ARENT A PLANT SO YOU CANT REALLY PHOTOSYNTHESE BUT SUNLIGHT IS GOOD FOR YOU

IF YOU CANT GO OUTSIDE PLAY WITH YOUR FUCKING PETS, SING ALONG TO A SONG YOU FUCKING LIKE, PLAY A SINGLEPLAYER GAME THAT ISNT FUCKING STRESS INDUCING, ETC